So the main reason I became an Uber driver was to get some quick money in fast to help start the financial stabilization process. I have been driving for about 6-7 weeks and realize it is so much more to me right now. My therapist did say that was one of the best things I could have done after the confession but it didn't really take hold until last night. I try and meet as many people as possible with no judgments or bias, it helps me with my Operation Mental Reset. And I have meet some folks who have given me some good advice and perspective to get through this stage of the relationship with K...but last night two things happened that solidified Uber as a great resource for me today in my recovery:
#1. There are times that I often think that I need to go out and get back at K and meet some somebody and develop a relationship with them. One that I see as getting back at her because of what has gone on with her and Q. There was a Spanish lady in the car last night and she was definitely doing her best to hit on me...these thoughts came into my mind ever so slightly...and then thinking through it during the ride, I didn't pursue it...I just can't right now...I know what K has done but I am not revengeful...I am still holding onto hope that we can work to try and save our marriage, knowing how much trust has been broken across our marriage. I don't even know if I was given the chance to save our marriage, that I can get past this Q thing...as mentioned in previous posts...I just realize that I am not ready to move on, and definitely don't want to do something to get back at K...I need to do something that has real meaning.
#2. My last ride of the day really had me thinking...it was in a bad part of town and around 2:30 am on a Sunday. There was a young couple with a toddle in a stroller and the riders were only the mom and toddler. The interaction between the mom and dad said it all, the dad barely sees he son and doesn't know how to interact with him as he was just standing there. The mom had to be so direct and she was clearly overwhelmed with no help. As the dad took his son out of the stroller, I ended up helping put the stroller in the car but then the dad quickly gave the child to his mother, and then he turned and went back into his apartment. I drove them for about 7 miles and dropped them off at her parents house where her elderly father came and took the stroller from me as I unpacked it from my trunk. This just reinforced that not matter what happens with K and I, my boys are going to get the best father I can be...and I am going to work so hard everyday to make sure that is true....we actually made plans for a cross country road trip in an RV as well as going to see a space shuttle launch at Cape Canaveral....can't wait...
Although the hours are tough, I am going to keep at it with Uber because of the many benefits it provides me at this time.
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