So I got through yesterday as mentally painful as it was and started to realize towards the end of the day that I have to get back on track...I felt like I had so much positive momentum and then I let my thoughts get the better of me...I am depressed or do I have a high level of self pity....probably both but realize that I need to start doing good in the world vs worrying about the past.
So me being in my early 40's, I have to look at my life as was story do I want to tell for the second half? I already wrote the first half and nothing I can do to change that, but with all of those hard life lessons, who do I choose to be moving forward?
As mentioned in my previous post, I have come to the hard realization to let go of K. By holding onto to her mentally, I have been creating more pain for me and not able to recovery...I didn't want to let go because I don't want it to seem like I am done fighting for her...and that isn't the case...the case is, she doesn't want me and I can't change that...I have surrendered to that reality.
With that, I am also working on surrendering to gambling and really dealing with this disease. I won't forget about the past and will keep working the 12 steps of the program.
That is it for now and more to come....
Payback tracker:
Uber earnings of $330
So me being in my early 40's, I have to look at my life as was story do I want to tell for the second half? I already wrote the first half and nothing I can do to change that, but with all of those hard life lessons, who do I choose to be moving forward?
As mentioned in my previous post, I have come to the hard realization to let go of K. By holding onto to her mentally, I have been creating more pain for me and not able to recovery...I didn't want to let go because I don't want it to seem like I am done fighting for her...and that isn't the case...the case is, she doesn't want me and I can't change that...I have surrendered to that reality.
With that, I am also working on surrendering to gambling and really dealing with this disease. I won't forget about the past and will keep working the 12 steps of the program.
That is it for now and more to come....
Payback tracker:
Uber earnings of $330
You have learnt so much about life ,Life is a whole classroom to learn from some lessons are really hard and some really enjoyable .Well done with your progress coping skills are one of the major lessons.You have so much courage
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