Operation Mental Reset isn't starting off on a good foot today..Yesterday, K left me the house to stay in for the weekend while she was away at her parents with the kids. I was grateful for that to be able to sleep on the air mattress in the attic but came to realize it was hard being in the house, definitely by myself.
All I could think about was what happened that night with K and Q...where did he sleep? Was it the couch or was it in one of my kids room? I have to believe there is no way that he slept in the same bed with my wife and youngest son....since our youngest has always slept in our bed..
I am having a hard time keeping it together this morning and I was able to spend a few minutes and say hi to my kids...which lead into a conversation with K...that didn't end well because let's be honest, it is still a little over three weeks and the emotion as are still raw for both of us...I don't know where and how this road is going to go but I sure do know that I deserve every ounce of pain because I brought this onto myself....even pushing K away for her to develop a relationship with Q while we were still together under my blanket of financial lies...
To try and change the bad start of the day, I am going to think about what to do with my kids since I will have them for a few days starting tomorrow.
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