Seperated vs Hope

Just a quick post for today as I have been thinking about this during my moonlighting gig as a ride share driver with Lyft and Uber...Now that my wife has been telling her family and some close friends that we are separated, I can't come to accept not wearing my wedding band everyday...even when I talk to my family and limited friends, I am not open about it....

Maybe I am still holding on for the last slight chance things might change in the future, hence one of the goals that I have to stay focused on with this blog... but am I not being honest with myself and need to change...as this is one of the initial steps with GA...

Not sure what to do, will definitely talk to my therapist and GA support group about this..

1st GA Meeting

I made another very important step in getting myself well today...I went to my 1st Gambler's Anonymous meeting. I had this on the list to do in short order and was worried that if I didn't take the time to do it tonight, there was a high likelihood I would find a reason to keep delaying going.

How would I describe going to the first meeting: Scary but supportive. 

Scary because I realize the disease I have is going to be with me my entire life and that I have to be aware that I can't get complacent with my recovery. I have met people tonight from 2 months to 42 years attending these meetings...and although the individuals were from all areas of life, the stories were all too familiar and I related to many of the stories by the time was done. One quote that I remember is "All walks of life are struggling with this disease; from those coming from jail to those coming from Yale"

The main takeaway is that I need to stay committed to keep going to the meetings as much as possible to get myself well.

Thank you to all of those that were in the meeting and showed great support for me and what I was going through.

Payback tracker update:
- Still waiting to get approved as a driver for Uber and Lyft
- Was able to get a cash reward back from one of the credit cards for $50.00...so I will update the overall balance from there.