Entering the depths of loneliness

As the days pass by, I find myself going deeper and deeper into a dark state of loneliness...is it because I am not around my family as much, is it because I spend at least 6 hours in the car with my second job as a Lyft driver, or is it because I keep reminding myself of the good life that I had and how I mindlessly through it away...I think it is all three and more and trying to stay positive, but it is hard.

I need to get myself to another GA meeting and I know 1 meeting a week isn't the best path to recovery but I am trying to make as much money as possible to make a dent in the financial debts that I created... my best source of a second income is being a Lyft and Uber driver... and although. The flexibility is great for my situation, the town that I am in is a slow market..my goal was to make $100 a day after expenses and I barely got to $40 on a Tuesday night with the added risk of putting all of these strangers in your car. I will say most passengers are nice and friendly but I do believe that one of my fares last night involved an illegal transaction....not totally sure, but heading into some sketchy parts of town makes me think again of how I got myself into this mess...

I am so sorry for all the harm that I have done to my family and I am really working to fix myself and then maybe one day I can be a better and happy person...One Day at a Time